I'm gay. Hopefully no surprises there.
I didn't come out to myself until the end of my second year of college. That also happens to be when my first and last relationship with a girl ended. Not a coincidence. The more time I spent with her, the more I realized I really, really wasn't attracted to girls sexually at all.
I was in a low place the following six months. I didn't know how to act -- if I should be acting differently -- or what I was going to do with myself. Date guys? I didn't even know how to court a girl, something I should have picked up from simple immersion in a heterosexual environment for the past twenty-odd years, much less a guy.
Somehow I got over that. Time tempered my negative feelings and thoughts. I began accepting myself and allowing myself to enjoy my orientation. During those first six months I would feel bad and ashamed when I realized I was checking a guy out; after that hurdle I took delight in sneaking glances at passing hunks on campus.
The next year at college was my last. I joined a GLBT organization, hung out at the resource center, and was openly out on campus. That October I came out to my parents and brother. I was already out to a select few friends, but was nervous about telling my folks... I'd heard enough stories about bad reactions to worry that my life would shatter. But they all took me with open hearts -- I couldn't ask for better people to call family.
By the end of that year I had two exes in my past. I'm mostly open everywhere I go, except at my job. My career is under heavy community scrutiny, and I have to be cautious not to make anyone uncomfortable or outraged -- although it's completely stupid that being gay would have any effect on my job performance, if the community complains loudly enough then my superiors would probably seriously consider letting me go to please them.
Ah, them's the shits.
Follow the winds
=Sab
29 June 2012
26 June 2012
Naked Dares
A lot of the showing off I like is centered around performing a task nude. The obvious example is streaking - running through a place without a stitch of clothing on where you're guaranteed to be seen by usually many, many people. I feel I'm more attracted to the idea of longer, more discreet events, like having to navigate from point A to point B naked and through a very low-traffic area. Maybe I'd choose the shorter path that leads down a lane of houses with nowhere to hide, or I could take the safer route that adds an extra 10 minutes to the time I'm stranded without clothes. That's what I'd prefer, over streaking.
Recently, I contacted a guy that was looking for someone to give him such dares: activities that prolonged his exhibition versus quick streaks that he couldn't savor. I'm more the type to be receiving the dares, but my situation doesn't allow me to do that here, and I figured I would just live through him for a while.
We had a few back and forth emails, and he revealed that I would have to have some type of blackmail on him so that he'd do the dares and not just chicken out. At first I told him we'd skip the blackmail, just to figure out what he considers a tough dare and find his limits without the threat of such sever punishment. Then we would move up to the blackmail (compromising photos of him plus a list of family/friends' emails) once he was comfortable. I wanted to eventually step it up one more notch, and make the punishment for not completing a dare be the termination of the entire relation. So if he chickened out, there would be no more dares from me. I thought this was a good addition because I could tell from the emails that he had been looking a long time for someone, and I knew from personal attempts that it's surprisingly difficult to find a dare buddy for this type of thing.
I'll let you know right now that he's stopped responding to me. We had been having a very active exchange, and when I asked for the pics and email addresses (that he insisted I have - he wanted to skip the "easy" stage) he just fell off the map, never to be heard from again. I had already prepared a handful of dares, which I'll share in a bit.
22 June 2012
My Introduction to Bondage
Finally the day came. I drove over to his place, entered the room, and got slammed with my body facing the wall. I was quickly cuffed, blindfolded, and gagged, then led to a chair and sat down. My ankles were cuffed together. He reached down and rubbed my crotch through my mesh basketball shorts. I wasn't wearing underwear. Then he reached in and began stroking me for a bit.
The session lasted 4 hours. I can't remember everything that happened or the order that it all happened in, but I'll try my best. Throughout the entire session he would take short breaks to pull me close and feel me up while playing with my cock. If I got too hard or aroused he would either slap me hard on my stomach or pat me lightly on my face.
It started with my wrists being restrained above my head and the cutting off of my shirt. He left my shorts on for a while, and uncuffed my wrists again, only to attach the restraints to each other. I was led to an open area of the room and forced to get on my belly. He tied me up with rope and some leather straps. I was rolled onto my side so he could play with my cock, and it felt fantastic, being situated so that he had such open access to such a private part of me and there was nothing I could do about it.
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No way to get away. |
19 June 2012
Private Club
Well, yesterday was great. I had stumbled upon some information about a local monthly meeting at a private club. It was a night for just guys (usually it's open to all), and just about anything could go on there, because it's private.
I arrived at 7pm and paid the $20 entry fee. The bottom floor was for dancing. There was a big stage in the middle of the dance floor, the lights were low, and the music was loud. But nobody was there. I ran into the owner of the place, and he showed me where everyone was, upstairs. It was confusing at first -- there was so much for me to take in: it had a handful of hallways that each were lined with small rooms for private play, a large group play room, and a lounge room. I ended up staying in the lounge area at first, because it had pool tables and, more importantly, it had people in it that weren't having sex. All in all, I would say close to 40 guys were there.
It was very quiet in the lounge. The TV was on, and there was some whispered small talk, but mostly everyone stood around looking glum. I figured the night was just still too young. I asked if anyone was up for a game of pool and one man in a kilt took me up on the offer. After one game, someone suggested we play strip pool. I had planned on taking my clothes off anyway, so I easily agreed. I took off my shirt to match the number of clothes my opponent was wearing.
Damn. I'm good at pool. Or they all were really bad. I lost the first 2 games (removed my shoes + socks, then pants) and won the next 6 wearing only a jockstrap. The room would fill up with a crowd whenever we got down to the last few balls on the table, then everyone would leave when I won again. People were actually rooting for me to lose and for the other guy to win. I had to play 3 people before I finally lost and stripped to nothing. The other 2 guys that lost had been naked only briefly before getting dressed again. As soon as my clothes were off, someone offered to store them in their locker. I handed everything over to him, and he put my clothes in his locker and locked it.
I arrived at 7pm and paid the $20 entry fee. The bottom floor was for dancing. There was a big stage in the middle of the dance floor, the lights were low, and the music was loud. But nobody was there. I ran into the owner of the place, and he showed me where everyone was, upstairs. It was confusing at first -- there was so much for me to take in: it had a handful of hallways that each were lined with small rooms for private play, a large group play room, and a lounge room. I ended up staying in the lounge area at first, because it had pool tables and, more importantly, it had people in it that weren't having sex. All in all, I would say close to 40 guys were there.
It was very quiet in the lounge. The TV was on, and there was some whispered small talk, but mostly everyone stood around looking glum. I figured the night was just still too young. I asked if anyone was up for a game of pool and one man in a kilt took me up on the offer. After one game, someone suggested we play strip pool. I had planned on taking my clothes off anyway, so I easily agreed. I took off my shirt to match the number of clothes my opponent was wearing.
Damn. I'm good at pool. Or they all were really bad. I lost the first 2 games (removed my shoes + socks, then pants) and won the next 6 wearing only a jockstrap. The room would fill up with a crowd whenever we got down to the last few balls on the table, then everyone would leave when I won again. People were actually rooting for me to lose and for the other guy to win. I had to play 3 people before I finally lost and stripped to nothing. The other 2 guys that lost had been naked only briefly before getting dressed again. As soon as my clothes were off, someone offered to store them in their locker. I handed everything over to him, and he put my clothes in his locker and locked it.
15 June 2012
Effective Punishment
Whenever I mess up an order from my Master, he generally follows up with some punishment. At first I didn't mind the punishment, because he didn't know exactly how I ticked and more often than not the punishment wouldn't really phase me. He really realized this when I flat out told him I wasn't going to do what he had asked and would rather take the punishment.
Then he began making me poke Q-tips down my urethra. That wasn't a big deal at first; it was definitely something I didn't enjoy, but was bearable. However, a big change occurred during my most recent punishment.
I was sounding, but he ordered me to cum while the Q-tip was partly in me. It was extremely unpleasant. I'm still very sensitive to any foreign body in my urethra, and any stimulation of that body translates into pain. All my usual methods of masturbation involve physical actions that became too painful in this situation. Eventually I was reduced to slowly rubbing and teasing my frenulum and corona. With some intense mental help I was able to cum, only to be completely dismayed when the replying text from my Master told me to cum again.
All I thought to myself was, "That's impossible."
Luckily or unluckily, I'm not sure which, at that time I had more urgent issues to attend to and had to abandon the punishment. My Master understood and reworked the punishment, so that later that day I had to cum while sounding, then cum again 10 minutes later while still sounding. I was already slightly freaking out about what I had to do.
The late evening finally rolled around and I set to my task. I was tired and had already cum that day. The intervening hours had been busy and my mind simply was not in an erotic mood. But I had to attempt the punishment, at least.
Skip to 2 hours later, and I still hadn't cum the first time. I had watched porn, read erotic stories, used my imagination, and even some light masturbation, but my dick wasn't responding to it at all. I wasn't even leaking. It would begin to swell up on occasion, but the pain of the Q-tip instantly ruined the moment. I think my urethra was actually sore from earlier that day. I didn't realize that was even a possibility when I had begun my punishment. I wanted to finish this punishment, hoping it would restore some of my Master's faith in me. I settled on taking out some poly cord and knotting a ring around the base of my cock and another ring beneath my corona. Slowly this brought my cock to half-staff, but no further. I tried to physically assist my pathetic attempts at an erection, but my hand only reignited the pain from the Q-tip.
This is when I began to break down.
I realized that all this effort was simply to cum once. I was expected to cum again, within 10 minutes of my first orgasm. It would hurt like hell -- or at this rate, something much worse than hell -- to get myself off once. Twice? No... The amount of pain that I would have to endure wouldn't be possible for me to inflict on myself. Godamnit, the amount of pain I was trying to withstand now, for one lousy orgasm, was pushing my limits.
I let that sink in. The pain I would have to experience from one Q-tip to complete the punishment.
And it was too much. I began to tear up. Well, my eyes got really moist, at least. Which is really saying something: someone else had ordered me via text to do a task, and in my attempts to complete that task, without actually hurting myself as much as I really could, was brought to the beginning of tears.
I gave up. No other option was feasible. The pain overwhelmed my other senses, and an orgasm resulting from my direct control was impossible. Let alone the thought of a second orgasm. That would require enduring an amount of pain I didn't want to (and still haven't) consider.
I took out the Q-tip and crawled in bed. I let my Master know that I considered the task impossible, and how fucking pissed off I was about making me sound so much in one day. I really hate the activity. He wasn't really mad at all that I couldn't finish the task; he was satisfied to know that I had tried (and probably how much torment it had put me through).
The next day I had a text from him saying that sounding would no longer be part of my punishment. I argued that we should keep it, because it's actually the only thing we've found so far that would work as a punishment. I don't want to do that again, ever, and will do my best to complete any orders he gives. But he said he would explore some other options for punishment, because my complete and almost aggressive aversion to pain makes any punishment involving pain a high-scale punishment, and we probably need some low- to intermediate-scale punishments as well.
Follow the winds
=Sab
Then he began making me poke Q-tips down my urethra. That wasn't a big deal at first; it was definitely something I didn't enjoy, but was bearable. However, a big change occurred during my most recent punishment.
I was sounding, but he ordered me to cum while the Q-tip was partly in me. It was extremely unpleasant. I'm still very sensitive to any foreign body in my urethra, and any stimulation of that body translates into pain. All my usual methods of masturbation involve physical actions that became too painful in this situation. Eventually I was reduced to slowly rubbing and teasing my frenulum and corona. With some intense mental help I was able to cum, only to be completely dismayed when the replying text from my Master told me to cum again.
All I thought to myself was, "That's impossible."
Luckily or unluckily, I'm not sure which, at that time I had more urgent issues to attend to and had to abandon the punishment. My Master understood and reworked the punishment, so that later that day I had to cum while sounding, then cum again 10 minutes later while still sounding. I was already slightly freaking out about what I had to do.
The late evening finally rolled around and I set to my task. I was tired and had already cum that day. The intervening hours had been busy and my mind simply was not in an erotic mood. But I had to attempt the punishment, at least.
Skip to 2 hours later, and I still hadn't cum the first time. I had watched porn, read erotic stories, used my imagination, and even some light masturbation, but my dick wasn't responding to it at all. I wasn't even leaking. It would begin to swell up on occasion, but the pain of the Q-tip instantly ruined the moment. I think my urethra was actually sore from earlier that day. I didn't realize that was even a possibility when I had begun my punishment. I wanted to finish this punishment, hoping it would restore some of my Master's faith in me. I settled on taking out some poly cord and knotting a ring around the base of my cock and another ring beneath my corona. Slowly this brought my cock to half-staff, but no further. I tried to physically assist my pathetic attempts at an erection, but my hand only reignited the pain from the Q-tip.
This is when I began to break down.
I realized that all this effort was simply to cum once. I was expected to cum again, within 10 minutes of my first orgasm. It would hurt like hell -- or at this rate, something much worse than hell -- to get myself off once. Twice? No... The amount of pain that I would have to endure wouldn't be possible for me to inflict on myself. Godamnit, the amount of pain I was trying to withstand now, for one lousy orgasm, was pushing my limits.
I let that sink in. The pain I would have to experience from one Q-tip to complete the punishment.
And it was too much. I began to tear up. Well, my eyes got really moist, at least. Which is really saying something: someone else had ordered me via text to do a task, and in my attempts to complete that task, without actually hurting myself as much as I really could, was brought to the beginning of tears.
I gave up. No other option was feasible. The pain overwhelmed my other senses, and an orgasm resulting from my direct control was impossible. Let alone the thought of a second orgasm. That would require enduring an amount of pain I didn't want to (and still haven't) consider.
I took out the Q-tip and crawled in bed. I let my Master know that I considered the task impossible, and how fucking pissed off I was about making me sound so much in one day. I really hate the activity. He wasn't really mad at all that I couldn't finish the task; he was satisfied to know that I had tried (and probably how much torment it had put me through).
The next day I had a text from him saying that sounding would no longer be part of my punishment. I argued that we should keep it, because it's actually the only thing we've found so far that would work as a punishment. I don't want to do that again, ever, and will do my best to complete any orders he gives. But he said he would explore some other options for punishment, because my complete and almost aggressive aversion to pain makes any punishment involving pain a high-scale punishment, and we probably need some low- to intermediate-scale punishments as well.
Follow the winds
=Sab
13 June 2012
Nipping A Burn Out
Okay, so I've been posting pretty much daily since this started. Which is cool. But I know I can't keep this pace up. Something will get in the way, whether it be me forgetting to update or being too busy to update or simply not having anything to talk about. I'm going to limit my postings to 2 major posts a week for now. I expect small, trivial posts will pop up whenever I think about them.
I'll see how this plan works out. Tuesdays and Fridays should be okay days to update, I guess. I know I don't have any viewers (well, a few actually: I know people are seeing this on browsers I don't use, and at least one person is from Germany. Haha.) so this isn't really worth worrying about. But I like consistency, even if no one else notices.
Follow the winds
=Sab
I'll see how this plan works out. Tuesdays and Fridays should be okay days to update, I guess. I know I don't have any viewers (well, a few actually: I know people are seeing this on browsers I don't use, and at least one person is from Germany. Haha.) so this isn't really worth worrying about. But I like consistency, even if no one else notices.
Follow the winds
=Sab
12 June 2012
A Potential Situation
Not too long ago I had been ordered to wear my 5 inch, pink buttplug to work. Not the first time it had happened, but what happened on that particular day could have taken a turn for the worse.
I forget exactly what the boss was doing, but she had either called us all into her office or we just came in curious about what was going on. With 5 people in a rather small room that already had a handful of computer desks taking up prime real estate, my ass gave up and started to refuse my plug. I had no way to excuse myself from the situation; I had just come from the bathroom, and was actually awaiting my next task when this impromptu meeting happened.
Fortunately, I was standing with my back to the wall that the door opens to, and the door was more than halfway open. Shuffling over slowly, I was able to conceal my left arm and part of my body behind the open door. And with 4 other people in the same small room as me, I began to push the plug back in. We had assumed a circular formation, or at least the best that could be done in that room, meaning I was constantly being watched by someone. My actions went unnoticed and my ass finally welcomed the plug back.
This stupid plug and my ass are going to be the end of me.
Follow the winds
=Sab
I forget exactly what the boss was doing, but she had either called us all into her office or we just came in curious about what was going on. With 5 people in a rather small room that already had a handful of computer desks taking up prime real estate, my ass gave up and started to refuse my plug. I had no way to excuse myself from the situation; I had just come from the bathroom, and was actually awaiting my next task when this impromptu meeting happened.
Fortunately, I was standing with my back to the wall that the door opens to, and the door was more than halfway open. Shuffling over slowly, I was able to conceal my left arm and part of my body behind the open door. And with 4 other people in the same small room as me, I began to push the plug back in. We had assumed a circular formation, or at least the best that could be done in that room, meaning I was constantly being watched by someone. My actions went unnoticed and my ass finally welcomed the plug back.
This stupid plug and my ass are going to be the end of me.
Follow the winds
=Sab
11 June 2012
Beginner Sounder
When my master first started telling me about the previous tasks he had made his slaves perform, only one thing he said made me squirm and want to curl up: he had ordered his slave to insert a Qtip into their urethra (their pee hole) until it was hardly sticking out, then cum with it in. The poor slave had reported some bleeding, and my master acknowledged he had ordered this when he was much younger and didn't really know what would happen. While the bleeding detail of the story is more than enough to make me assume a fetal position, it was the insertion into the urethra that really had me going. I've never done that, and it sounded terrible. Absolutely nothing should be going in that way.
Thankfully, my master makes my safety and health a priority. What this means for me is that whatever he tells me, I will do, knowing that he's considered those things.
About a week ago when he was ordering me to edge, he told me to go get a Qtip. That simple command made me panic and plead with him not to bring that dreadful object into the scene. He asked if I was saying no, which made me pause to reconsider what I wanted out of this relation. I got the Qtip. He made me circle my glans with it, mopping up all the precum I had leaked. Then he told me to insert just the cotton head of the Qtip into my slit. Then just a little of the Qtip's shaft. As I twirled the Qtip slowly, I had to pump my foreskin up and down. Soon he told me to stop, and pull the Qtip out quickly while twirling it. Luckily my leakiness had made the Qtip slick, so it easily slid out.
But last Thursday he took it a bit further. It started the same as the last time, just putting a little bit in, and then he asked me to put more of it in. I tried. Slowly a few more centimeters went in. It was painful, and it was a weird pain, too; never had I felt pain come from within my penis like that. At the time, I was only at half-mast. He wanted me to insert it more and I whined that I couldn't.
Before this started, he had mentioned that he would be testing my discipline. From his response to my inability to go further, I was guessing he was disappointed in my actions and lack of obedience to follow his instructions without complaint. I didn't want to disappoint him anymore.
Thankfully, my master makes my safety and health a priority. What this means for me is that whatever he tells me, I will do, knowing that he's considered those things.
About a week ago when he was ordering me to edge, he told me to go get a Qtip. That simple command made me panic and plead with him not to bring that dreadful object into the scene. He asked if I was saying no, which made me pause to reconsider what I wanted out of this relation. I got the Qtip. He made me circle my glans with it, mopping up all the precum I had leaked. Then he told me to insert just the cotton head of the Qtip into my slit. Then just a little of the Qtip's shaft. As I twirled the Qtip slowly, I had to pump my foreskin up and down. Soon he told me to stop, and pull the Qtip out quickly while twirling it. Luckily my leakiness had made the Qtip slick, so it easily slid out.
But last Thursday he took it a bit further. It started the same as the last time, just putting a little bit in, and then he asked me to put more of it in. I tried. Slowly a few more centimeters went in. It was painful, and it was a weird pain, too; never had I felt pain come from within my penis like that. At the time, I was only at half-mast. He wanted me to insert it more and I whined that I couldn't.
Before this started, he had mentioned that he would be testing my discipline. From his response to my inability to go further, I was guessing he was disappointed in my actions and lack of obedience to follow his instructions without complaint. I didn't want to disappoint him anymore.
10 June 2012
Showing Off: My College Apartment
This took place at the apartment complex I lived at for the first few years of college. It was 5 stories, and had 2 central elevators and 3 stairwells. One stairwell on each of the far ends (the complex was shaped like a really long rectangle) and one central stairwell, behind the elevators.
I did this late at night in the central stairwell. It was more likely to receive traffic, during the day for sure, but I was betting that at that hour people would rather use the elevators since they would be more available. I went to the top of the stairwell, which for some reason had a landing above the 5th floor, and left all my clothes there. Then it was a simple walk down all the stairs until I got to the bottom. No one had entered the stairwell so far. I was kind of bummed out -- I don't want to get caught... but at the same time I do. I can't figure it out. But I was hoping someone would bump into me that night.
On the way up I purposely pushed open every door I passed. This was very risky, because the stairwell doors opened into the lobby area of each floor, and the lobby areas were designed as places to hang out: lots of comfy couches, snack machines, wall-mounted plasma televisions. It was late, so there actually was a good chance that at least someone was chilling in the lobby.
Nope. Nobody.
I made my way back to the top without meeting anyone. I was disappointed, but couldn't think of a way to increase my chances of exposure any more without deliberately getting myself seen and having absolutely no alibi for it. So I put on my clothes and called it a night.
Follow the winds
=Sab
I did this late at night in the central stairwell. It was more likely to receive traffic, during the day for sure, but I was betting that at that hour people would rather use the elevators since they would be more available. I went to the top of the stairwell, which for some reason had a landing above the 5th floor, and left all my clothes there. Then it was a simple walk down all the stairs until I got to the bottom. No one had entered the stairwell so far. I was kind of bummed out -- I don't want to get caught... but at the same time I do. I can't figure it out. But I was hoping someone would bump into me that night.
On the way up I purposely pushed open every door I passed. This was very risky, because the stairwell doors opened into the lobby area of each floor, and the lobby areas were designed as places to hang out: lots of comfy couches, snack machines, wall-mounted plasma televisions. It was late, so there actually was a good chance that at least someone was chilling in the lobby.
Nope. Nobody.
I made my way back to the top without meeting anyone. I was disappointed, but couldn't think of a way to increase my chances of exposure any more without deliberately getting myself seen and having absolutely no alibi for it. So I put on my clothes and called it a night.
Follow the winds
=Sab
Accidental Release
Hallo.
I'm sure I mentioned this before, but if you play with my balls or head you pretty much have complete control over my cock. And both areas aren't pure pleasure; both of them can cause pain, and as long as you don't smash one of my nuts, my cock will still respond positively. My head is just really sensitive... it's not exactly painful, but it makes me pull away and react almost as if it is. Balls, of course, can be pulled and flicked, and that is painful. Regardless, as much as it might hurt, my cock will still swell up. The thought of having only my balls and head exposed is both a scary and exciting idea.
I'm mentioning all this because I found a guide on how to use some cord to wrap someone's cock and balls and leave only the tightly bound balls and head exposed. Heh, "someone's cock and balls". I had to try this out on myself.
I'm sure I mentioned this before, but if you play with my balls or head you pretty much have complete control over my cock. And both areas aren't pure pleasure; both of them can cause pain, and as long as you don't smash one of my nuts, my cock will still respond positively. My head is just really sensitive... it's not exactly painful, but it makes me pull away and react almost as if it is. Balls, of course, can be pulled and flicked, and that is painful. Regardless, as much as it might hurt, my cock will still swell up. The thought of having only my balls and head exposed is both a scary and exciting idea.
I'm mentioning all this because I found a guide on how to use some cord to wrap someone's cock and balls and leave only the tightly bound balls and head exposed. Heh, "someone's cock and balls". I had to try this out on myself.
That's about 20 feet of poly cord.
That's my first and only attempt so far. I think it turned out okay. It could obviously be a bit more snug along my shaft, I would just need to reduce the number of coils around the base.
Unfortunately, this has a sad ending.
09 June 2012
Showing Off: Wal-Mart Stiffy
Not all exhibitionism events have to include nudity. With clothing on, I can actually mill around in public while showing off. That's pretty hot.
I was making a work-related errand run at Wal-Mart. I was in the painting section, and was really the only one back there. Since I had come from work, I was nicely dressed: tie, button-up shirt, belt, slacks. My master had previously sent me texts talking about making me wait 2 weeks before I could cum. I told him he was making me get hard while in a store, and we had a back and forth exchange that ended with him telling me he would love to play with a plug in my ass and make me cum while wearing thin white pants in public. Well that really got me going. Now, I'm a leaker. I will just ooze and ooze precum before getting noticeably hard. I told him I was leaking badly, and he responded with a text telling me to get hard.
So, finding myself in a very empty part of the store, I started to let myself get hard. Sometimes that's a really difficult task for me (sometimes it's embarrassingly easy). I generally need what I think is more stimulation than normal to start physically responding. I was on company time, there were kids about, I wasn't allowed to touch myself, and I was nervous about someone getting mad at me and causing a scene -- these things did not add up to a relaxing or arousing environment. Eventually I started boning up, mostly by thinking about how exposed I would look in thin slacks and a belt. I got erect, but not my hardest, or even close to really being rock hard. Just full enough that you could see a rigid bulge extending towards my left pocket. And, oh yeah, a cum stain a bit larger than a quarter near the bottom of my crotch.
Unfortunately, at this point I began to chicken out. I had the choice, mentally, to continue getting hard. If I did that, I would begin to enter a state where I wouldn't be able to back out of my choice. My cock would just give itself positive-feedback and ignore my mental protests. It would have been so hot, so sexy, to let that happen, but at that moment I was too scared. I didn't let myself reach that mindset and my cock deflated just a bit and held steady. It was still painfully obvious, to me at least, that I was aroused: precum stain and obvious tenting from almost any angle you approached me from.
Determined to get some thrills out of the situation, I made my way to the pharmacy section that was at the other side of the store. I passed a few people, none who took special notice of me. On the way I also passed a young male employee, close to my age. He was looking at a shelf and didn't see me, but I decided to get his attention (I just wanted to talk to someone while in this state) and asked him where the rubbing alcohol was. I was watching his eyes. He looked me in the face at first, then his eyes and entire head tilted down and stayed liked that for more than what could be considered a passing glance. It felt good. I wish I had been fully erect. I went to the pharmacy, poked around a bit, and then checked-out.
I think my master will have me revisiting this scenario. Take out the kids and the fact I was actually shopping and also on company time and I think I can have much more fun with this.
Follow the winds
=Sab
I was making a work-related errand run at Wal-Mart. I was in the painting section, and was really the only one back there. Since I had come from work, I was nicely dressed: tie, button-up shirt, belt, slacks. My master had previously sent me texts talking about making me wait 2 weeks before I could cum. I told him he was making me get hard while in a store, and we had a back and forth exchange that ended with him telling me he would love to play with a plug in my ass and make me cum while wearing thin white pants in public. Well that really got me going. Now, I'm a leaker. I will just ooze and ooze precum before getting noticeably hard. I told him I was leaking badly, and he responded with a text telling me to get hard.
So, finding myself in a very empty part of the store, I started to let myself get hard. Sometimes that's a really difficult task for me (sometimes it's embarrassingly easy). I generally need what I think is more stimulation than normal to start physically responding. I was on company time, there were kids about, I wasn't allowed to touch myself, and I was nervous about someone getting mad at me and causing a scene -- these things did not add up to a relaxing or arousing environment. Eventually I started boning up, mostly by thinking about how exposed I would look in thin slacks and a belt. I got erect, but not my hardest, or even close to really being rock hard. Just full enough that you could see a rigid bulge extending towards my left pocket. And, oh yeah, a cum stain a bit larger than a quarter near the bottom of my crotch.
Unfortunately, at this point I began to chicken out. I had the choice, mentally, to continue getting hard. If I did that, I would begin to enter a state where I wouldn't be able to back out of my choice. My cock would just give itself positive-feedback and ignore my mental protests. It would have been so hot, so sexy, to let that happen, but at that moment I was too scared. I didn't let myself reach that mindset and my cock deflated just a bit and held steady. It was still painfully obvious, to me at least, that I was aroused: precum stain and obvious tenting from almost any angle you approached me from.
Determined to get some thrills out of the situation, I made my way to the pharmacy section that was at the other side of the store. I passed a few people, none who took special notice of me. On the way I also passed a young male employee, close to my age. He was looking at a shelf and didn't see me, but I decided to get his attention (I just wanted to talk to someone while in this state) and asked him where the rubbing alcohol was. I was watching his eyes. He looked me in the face at first, then his eyes and entire head tilted down and stayed liked that for more than what could be considered a passing glance. It felt good. I wish I had been fully erect. I went to the pharmacy, poked around a bit, and then checked-out.
I think my master will have me revisiting this scenario. Take out the kids and the fact I was actually shopping and also on company time and I think I can have much more fun with this.
Follow the winds
=Sab
08 June 2012
Showing Off: The Oak Tree
One afternoon I was more horny and daring than usual, so I took a naked stroll around the house, but decided to constantly masturbate the entire time. Big, slow strokes. Instead of going back inside once I finished the lap, I climbed into an oak tree right in front of the house. It's one of those perfect trees that has a split in the trunk very close to the ground; this particular tree had a very wide split, so I could recline against one side comfortably. I climbed up and, through some tight maneuvering, placed myself against the split upside down. From my elevation in the tree, I was definitely more visible to the road, and also unable to make any type of quick escape. I masturbated a bit more in this pose, came, and hustled on inside.
I enjoyed this. Playing with myself while walking around made me feel way more exposed, and being in the tree captured the sense of vulnerability and heightened my sense of exposure even more.
Follow the winds
=Sab
07 June 2012
Showing Off: House Key Dash
This time I had really started to understand my kinks better.
I took my house key and placed it by a tree near the road, way at the front of my yard, then went inside and stripped naked and locked all the doors. Before I went outside I took two lengths of long zip tie, made them into one larger zip tie, and bound my hands behind my back. Then I went outside and closed the front door.
Click.
It was such a rush, knowing there was no turning back now. I made my way towards the target tree, keeping behind other trees along the way. My yard has a lot of trees, but they tend to be grouped together, with large expanses of nothing to hide behind between the groupings. No cars went by, and no people were out in their yards. The most exciting part was when I finally got the key: I just made a mad run straight back to the house without hiding, my bare ass for all to see.
The risk and vulnerability, combined with showing off, made this a really fun event. I would love to revisit this scenario, hiding a key or other necessary item in a potentially public place and having to retrieve it naked. Hopefully my master will come up with some on his own.
Follow the winds
=Sab
My First Master
I have a submissive side, but it really only kicks in when things get sexual. For some reason I really fancy the idea of having my sexual urges and wants controlled by someone else, for me to engage in sexual activities at their whim regardless of if I currently share that desire.
He generally gives me rules that are in constant effect until further notice, as well as daily tasks. At the moment I can't do anything to myself at all -- absolutely no stimulation. In the beginning I would have to ask permission to touch myself and to cum. It's frustrating to be denied an orgasm, but it's such a turn-on for me knowing that I have to ask before I can perform such a private task, and that he can simply say no. I'm getting hard just talking about it (which is currently problematic, as I'm wearing cockrings and my balls are tied).
Then he added a new rule that I couldn't cum until he told me, so no point in me asking anymore. He followed this up by ordering me to get hard on the hour, every hour, and send picture proof. So for 3 days I was boning up hourly but wasn't allowed any release. Pretty simple stuff, in the big picture and for where I'm headed (he wants to work me up to at least 2 weeks between orgasms, and of course intends to tease me mercilessly the entire 2 weeks), but for now it's just enough to bother me and keep me constantly aware that I don't control my most personal actions.
At the end of our first meeting he commented that my ass is tight. He didn't top me -- just fingered me. And it's true. I've only been topped once. My ass is tight. About a week ago he ordered me to purchase a buttplug. He couldn't leave it at that, and also had me wear jeans with large holes near the back pockets and a shirt that barely reached past my hips. He told me to not wear underwear, which I usually don't (I only own 3 pairs, and only wear them for special situations where a visible penis line or erection would be social suicide), so it was obvious to anyone behind me that I was freeballing.
He generally gives me rules that are in constant effect until further notice, as well as daily tasks. At the moment I can't do anything to myself at all -- absolutely no stimulation. In the beginning I would have to ask permission to touch myself and to cum. It's frustrating to be denied an orgasm, but it's such a turn-on for me knowing that I have to ask before I can perform such a private task, and that he can simply say no. I'm getting hard just talking about it (which is currently problematic, as I'm wearing cockrings and my balls are tied).
Then he added a new rule that I couldn't cum until he told me, so no point in me asking anymore. He followed this up by ordering me to get hard on the hour, every hour, and send picture proof. So for 3 days I was boning up hourly but wasn't allowed any release. Pretty simple stuff, in the big picture and for where I'm headed (he wants to work me up to at least 2 weeks between orgasms, and of course intends to tease me mercilessly the entire 2 weeks), but for now it's just enough to bother me and keep me constantly aware that I don't control my most personal actions.
At the end of our first meeting he commented that my ass is tight. He didn't top me -- just fingered me. And it's true. I've only been topped once. My ass is tight. About a week ago he ordered me to purchase a buttplug. He couldn't leave it at that, and also had me wear jeans with large holes near the back pockets and a shirt that barely reached past my hips. He told me to not wear underwear, which I usually don't (I only own 3 pairs, and only wear them for special situations where a visible penis line or erection would be social suicide), so it was obvious to anyone behind me that I was freeballing.
Painful Night
I had a pretty painful night, thanks to binding my cock and balls and stuffing it all into a jockstrap for my master. Having the cockrings on wasn't a big deal. I can handle those, and they aren't painful. It was that damn shoelace. It was separating my balls. That would have been really that bad either, except I had tied it into place when I was flaccid. Why don't I think?! If it's a tight binding when I'm not aroused, what the hell did I expect to happen once I started getting hard?
I'll tell you what happens. Once my cock boned up and started to take up space, it actually pushed the cockring that was strangling my balls further down. The shoelace began digging into my skin in a very unpleasant way (after I took it off it left quite an indentation in my skin where it had been), causing a safe yet extremely painful sting as long as I was erect. Trying to sleep this way turned out to be impossible. When I'm in my bed, trying to fall asleep, there aren't many sensations or distractions to focus on.
Unfortunately, this meant that all I could pay attention to was the pain in my balls. That made me think about my cock and how much I would love to cum. Which made me think about my master and how I had to follow his orders. And that made me aroused. Being even slightly aroused is all the cockrings and shoelace needed to take control of my cock and force it back into a state of hardness. Cue the extreme pain in my balls. Rinse and repeat.
Part of me would love to be given the chance to cum. But another part of me (and I fear it may be in the majority) wants the denial to continue. I think I want to get to the point where I am unquestionably horny 24/7. I want to be able to get rock hard in seconds after he asks me to get hard. I want to beg and plead for an orgasm. And after all of that... I still want him to say no.
Whew. I'm well on my way to an erection after writing that.
Follow the winds
=Sab
I'll tell you what happens. Once my cock boned up and started to take up space, it actually pushed the cockring that was strangling my balls further down. The shoelace began digging into my skin in a very unpleasant way (after I took it off it left quite an indentation in my skin where it had been), causing a safe yet extremely painful sting as long as I was erect. Trying to sleep this way turned out to be impossible. When I'm in my bed, trying to fall asleep, there aren't many sensations or distractions to focus on.
Unfortunately, this meant that all I could pay attention to was the pain in my balls. That made me think about my cock and how much I would love to cum. Which made me think about my master and how I had to follow his orders. And that made me aroused. Being even slightly aroused is all the cockrings and shoelace needed to take control of my cock and force it back into a state of hardness. Cue the extreme pain in my balls. Rinse and repeat.
Both balls are nothing more than testicles
wrapped in a tight layer of scrotum.
Whew. I'm well on my way to an erection after writing that.
Follow the winds
=Sab
06 June 2012
My Current Situation
Right now, as I write this, I'm wearing a shirt, khaki shorts with rips on each knee, one of those belts with 2 metal rings at the end, a red jockstrap, 3 cockrings, and a piece of shoelace.
Some explanation is required. To begin, I'm in a relationship in which I follow orders from someone else. I messed up a bit today following orders, so he had me bind up my cock and balls the best I could, put on a jockstrap (opposed to freeballing), and stay that way until he instructed otherwise.
The cockrings are each a different size: 1 1/4", 1 1/2", and 2" (measured by diameter). The 2 larger rings are slipped over both my cock and balls and rest at the base of my cock. I measured once before getting the rings, and the diameter at the base of my cock when fully erect is around 2 2/5". It's a snug fit when I'm aroused. The last ring, as well as the shoelace, are teasing my balls. I don't think I will ever be able to stress enough how much I like my balls to be pulled taught. Occasionally, when I was feeling especially horny and crafty, I would begin tying my balls up with string or a shoelace...and the simple sensation of feeling my balls being constricted would send me over the edge.
Back to the smallest ring and the shoelace: both are around my balls. The ring took quite a bit of time to fit over both balls, but after that it sits quite nicely on top of them. The shoelace is being used to split my balls. It's threaded through both ends of the ring and rests between each ball. The loose ends are brought back towards each other, again between my balls, and as I pulled downward were tied together.
After I finished this setup I was rock hard for a good 5 minutes. My uncut cock is 6" fully erect, and has an impressive girth (so I've been told on occasion). I actively had to help take my mind off of how great it felt and make myself deflate, because I still had to put it into a jockstrap.
And that's that. A few months ago I couldn't have guessed this is where I would end up or that I would have done some of the things I've done lately. But I'm having fun. A blast.
Oh, that reminds me. I'm not allowed to cum on my own. You would think that's an easy order to work around, but in my situation it's not.
There are more orders I'm under, and more stories and thoughts I would like to share.
Follow the winds
=Sab
Some explanation is required. To begin, I'm in a relationship in which I follow orders from someone else. I messed up a bit today following orders, so he had me bind up my cock and balls the best I could, put on a jockstrap (opposed to freeballing), and stay that way until he instructed otherwise.
The cockrings are each a different size: 1 1/4", 1 1/2", and 2" (measured by diameter). The 2 larger rings are slipped over both my cock and balls and rest at the base of my cock. I measured once before getting the rings, and the diameter at the base of my cock when fully erect is around 2 2/5". It's a snug fit when I'm aroused. The last ring, as well as the shoelace, are teasing my balls. I don't think I will ever be able to stress enough how much I like my balls to be pulled taught. Occasionally, when I was feeling especially horny and crafty, I would begin tying my balls up with string or a shoelace...and the simple sensation of feeling my balls being constricted would send me over the edge.
Back to the smallest ring and the shoelace: both are around my balls. The ring took quite a bit of time to fit over both balls, but after that it sits quite nicely on top of them. The shoelace is being used to split my balls. It's threaded through both ends of the ring and rests between each ball. The loose ends are brought back towards each other, again between my balls, and as I pulled downward were tied together.
After I finished this setup I was rock hard for a good 5 minutes. My uncut cock is 6" fully erect, and has an impressive girth (so I've been told on occasion). I actively had to help take my mind off of how great it felt and make myself deflate, because I still had to put it into a jockstrap.
Not the easiest thing to take your mind off of.
And that's that. A few months ago I couldn't have guessed this is where I would end up or that I would have done some of the things I've done lately. But I'm having fun. A blast.
Oh, that reminds me. I'm not allowed to cum on my own. You would think that's an easy order to work around, but in my situation it's not.
There are more orders I'm under, and more stories and thoughts I would like to share.
Follow the winds
=Sab
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