I have a submissive side, but it really only kicks in when things get sexual. For some reason I really fancy the idea of having my sexual urges and wants controlled by someone else, for me to engage in sexual activities at their whim regardless of if I currently share that desire.
He generally gives me rules that are in constant effect until further notice, as well as daily tasks. At the moment I can't do anything to myself at all -- absolutely no stimulation. In the beginning I would have to ask permission to touch myself and to cum. It's frustrating to be denied an orgasm, but it's such a turn-on for me knowing that I have to ask before I can perform such a private task, and that he can simply say no. I'm getting hard just talking about it (which is currently problematic, as I'm wearing cockrings and my balls are tied).
Then he added a new rule that I couldn't cum until he told me, so no point in me asking anymore. He followed this up by ordering me to get hard on the hour, every hour, and send picture proof. So for 3 days I was boning up hourly but wasn't allowed any release. Pretty simple stuff, in the big picture and for where I'm headed (he wants to work me up to at least 2 weeks between orgasms, and of course intends to tease me mercilessly the entire 2 weeks), but for now it's just enough to bother me and keep me constantly aware that I don't control my most personal actions.
At the end of our first meeting he commented that my ass is tight. He didn't top me -- just fingered me. And it's true. I've only been topped once. My ass is tight. About a week ago he ordered me to purchase a buttplug. He couldn't leave it at that, and also had me wear jeans with large holes near the back pockets and a shirt that barely reached past my hips. He told me to not wear underwear, which I usually don't (I only own 3 pairs, and only wear them for special situations where a visible penis line or erection would be social suicide), so it was obvious to anyone behind me that I was freeballing.
I've been going commando since the end of my high school life. At first it was just a fun idea to do around the house. I would almost instantly get hard when I took my underwear off; the feel of the new texture and fabric, and the fact that I couldn't stop the stimulation except by not moving, ended up being a cruel combo to my sensitive dick and unprepared mind. I would get hard like clockwork. When the house was empty I would shed my underwear and fantasize about being somewhere public. Eventually I reached the point where I self-dared myself to freeball at school. By this time I had stopped reacting so strongly to the feel of my jeans, but while at school it felt like everybody somehow knew I wasn't wearing anything underneath. But it was undeniably fun, and marked the beginning of my freeballing career.
When I entered the adult toy shop only one other person was there: a girl working the cash register. I asked about the plugs and she pointed me to a back corner. Walking away, I knew it was almost guaranteed that she could see the holes in my pants and my ass. If she did see, she never commented. The plug I got was 5", pink, and made of sil-a-gel; I also picked up some lube. It was a very uneventful trip, sadly.
I've been wearing that plug on and off the past several days. Sometimes he'll make me sleep in it and then wear it for as long as I can the next day. The first time he ordered this, when lunchtime rolled (12 hours of wear) around my ass was getting tired. I was standing in line at a fast food place with someone I knew, surrounded by at least 20 strangers, when I sneezed. And the plug popped almost completely out of me. I had also been ordered to wear a jockstrap that day, so I had nothing to keep the plug at least remotely in place; it was going to fall down my pants, onto the ground, in front of all these people. And then what? It's not like I have a place to quickly hide a 5" pink plug.
I clenched down as hard as I could, put my hands in my pockets and pulled them forward (hoping to create some pressure on the plug from the back of my pants), and power-shuffled to the bathroom. Luckily that worked. I was able to reinsert the plug and lasted until later that evening. But that scared me. A lot. I'm not ready for that kind of humiliation.
But, the plug is simply a means to and end. A less uptight ass is what we're both hoping for here. He already wants me to buy a wider plug. And I don't know what this makes me, but I can't wait until my ass is comfortable being penetrated. I love being submissive. I want to bottom. I want him to take me aside whenever he wants, and pound me. Invite his friends over, whore me out. Tie me down and go at it all night. Damn. I'm getting hard again.
Follow the winds
=Sab
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